Using my head…

Well what can I say…Understanding. You think that after, I dunno, twenty years, they must be the best people to understand you, but they surprise you by being way off the mark. You think they are the most understanding, but they prove to be very unreliable at times and don’t know what you really want. They think they know, but in fact they are resistant to change and refuse to own up to the reality of time, that which may have changed many things in you. And you seek to explain that, but to no avail. The goalposts always switch from point to point; they are only there long enough for someone else to finish one side of the story and then vanish to be replaced by another (sometimes) flawed assertion. But always not what you have spoken about or intended to speak about, which was the topic in the first place? For once, I hope everyone can stick to the topic; finish one before moving on to another. That way you won’t lose track of your own arguments and also have a greater chance to be reasonable. I’ve said before, I say it again (and I presume I will have to say it many more times to come), you can’t reason with unreasonable people. Try as you may, you can’t. Cos they will never ever admit they are wrong. If only they took so long as another blink of the eye in keeping to the same topic, they will realise what you just said makes a hell lot of sense. And that’s one of the best ways of tacking a situation, by listening out and thinking before formulating and developing your arguments. But since they refuse to see it, they will never learn what you know, or how much you know. Too clouded by their own perceptions of their maturity and authority, they decide they are above everyone else and make a sweeping statement that you are unfit or unqualified for comment, when most of the time the topic of debate is about you! So what if you are a World Champion or something? That does not necessarily mean you know everything there is to know about another person’s unrelated situation. Well, being interested and inquisitive is one thing. Being overbearing is another, and being unreasonably authoritative at that is worse!

I think perhaps I should have pursued that little dream to break out of my “comfort zone” and take up Law. In fact, I might excel in it more than Engineering!

I have always treated people well, so I take offence at those thinly-veiled insults hurled at me. And obviously I have my own ego. I have been brought up well, so I do not argue based on hearsay or poorly-formulated thought. Most of all, I stick to the ONE situation at hand, and finish it off before moving on (provided I can!). So I am very reasonable, and there’s no cause for concern at all. The problem is, I believe, with expectations. When suddenly certain expectations of some people you have prove to be untrue or inaccurate, do you question them with that challenging demeanour, or perhaps take a step back and reflect on yourself? You may realise that all these years you have been mistaken about your opinions with regards to that person. Perhaps you made a wrong judgment about them and you should face up to that. Perhaps you thought too highly of yourself, thinking just because you are more senior in age, you know what’s best for him. Why take him to task over what he chooses when he is in perfect control of his life and knows what he is up to? He must have done something right to get to where he is today, and give him credit for that. He doesn’t need your credit, sure, but of course, your support is great all the same. And you probably think that any compliment you give him will go to his head and make his head swell so much it probably will burst. That’s where you are wrong. Grossly wrong. He is not so shallow. Why? Because he has been brought up too well! He is observant enough of his surroundings, and knows how to maneouvre in circumstances no matter how bad. Give him his fair share of compliments, and perhaps you will be happier too. I always believe in giving credit where it’s due, not being petty and withholding support or refusing for the sake of refusing. This only reflects badly on yourself. If everyone was so 心胸狭窄 (narrow-hearted) the world would be a really dark place to live in. Really dark….

Better things will come.